Rosi's Song of the Week 06/23/2019
It was a rough week and as usual I always turn to music. It’s the only thing that comes in the right dosage no matter the pain and feeling of hopelessness that surrounds me. Ironically I was talking to a friend about music and she pre approved a mixed playlist I could make for her. When mentioning some of her favorite live shows, she mentioned Ani Difranco.
When I was a teenager, I looked to Ani for her lyrics and her bravery as she wrote songs about women that broke her heart in the early 90’s. It helped me come out in many ways, and it also helped me through the rough stuff that happens in early adolescence. Break ups were so painful as a kid and as I got older they became less painful, but still rock me at my core as an adult. It’s the feeling of loss and when the anger subsides, the good memories flood your brain. The questions of why this didn’t work or why if you truly tried to make something work how could it just end. I am slowly learning that many things are just out of my control. Endings lead to new beginnings and some things need to happen for you to learn. I am still learning.
I decided to go back to some of her songs that I played to help release some of that old pain and bumped into one of Ani s classics. When I was in my 20’s, I remember this girl playing the song “Both Hands” from Ani at a party. She cried and told me it always made her think of her ex. My memory is not clear if this song touched me in my past, but I know it gave me a gut punch this week. It made me realize that even if you try hard to make something work, it does not mean it will. It made me remember that I did everything I could and it’s OK if that simply was not enough. I’ll be OK in the end.
Both Hands -Ani Difranco: